Darrell J. Pursiful

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Interview with Morty Grindle

[I sat down with Morty Grindle a few months ago, just before the events of Dead of Night. Fictional characters often have a uniquie perspective on life, and Morty was no different. Here’s what he had to say.]

Darrell Pursiful: You’ve lived in Louisville for a while now.

Morty Grindle: That’s right, about six or seven years. Before that, I was in Saint Louis. And before that… well, a lot of places.

DP: Do you like it there?

MG: The people are nice. The pollen’s kinda rough in the spring. <laughs> With a nose like this, you think about things like that!

DP: I can imagine. So what do you do for fun?

MG: It’s fun enough meeting people, trying to make sure they have a nice stay. I work at the Brown Hotel, you know? Folks come through there from all over the world. You never know who’s gonna want something special—the name of a chiropractor who makes house calls, a table at Jeff Ruby’s. That kind of thing.

DP: And you can help them with that?

MG: If there’s one thing better than meeting people, it’s connecting the ones who need something with the ones who can give it to ‘em.

DP: So who’s the most interesting person you’ve helped?

MP: <straightens up> Listen, Mr. P., you want to talk about me, we’ll talk. Just don’t ask me about my clients, okay?

DP: I’m sorry, I just thought—

MG: ‘Cause that’s kinda sacred, if you know what I mean. They trust me to take care of ‘em. They don’t need anybody else up in their business. Got it?

DP: Absolutely. Please forgive me.

MG: Just so long as we understand each other.

DP: Of course. <flips through notes> You don’t live at the Brown.

MG: Nah. I got a place over in Underborough. It’s kinda small, but it suits me fine. The rent is cheap. Plus, there’s always lots going on in Underborough. Lots of merchandise goes through there, you know? The kind of stuff you don’t usually see on this side of the Mere. The other day I picked up a shamlee cap, and all I had to do was give a guy the number of a good lawyer that don’t ask too many questions.

DP: A shamlee cap?

MG: You put it on, and it makes you look human.

DP: Wow. I’d love to see something like that.

MG: I already traded it to a troll that lives under the Kennedy Bridge.

DP: Ah. I guess I assumed—

MG: That I’d keep it for myself? Why would I want to do that?

DP: What was I thinking?

MG: Now don’t get me wrong. I take care of my clients for a reason. I do ‘em favors, eventually I’m gonna call in a favor from them. That’s the way these things work. But I figure, wait till I need something big, you know? Until then, keep the deals in motion. That’s how you build trust.

DP: I don’t see how your system would work without trust.

MG: I know, right? A deal’s a deal. That’s what I always say. If you can’t live up to your end of it, then what kinda man are you?

DP: You seem pretty definite about that.

MG: Yeah, well. Not everybody treats it that way. Something I learned the hard way a few years back.

DP: Somebody went back on a deal?

MG: <eyes flashing> Somebody stabbed me in the sarding back, if you’ll pardon my language. <fists clenching> Jonbo Loudy. By the depths, if I ever see that bob-washer again…

DP: I didn’t mean to upset you.

MG: What? Oh, it wasn’t you. It just gets me kinda worked up, you know? Some folks think a promise still means something. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that not everybody sees it that way.

DP: That was a long time ago, wasn’t it?

MG: <shrugs> Don’t change nothing. Sure, I was just a kid back then. But there’s right and then there’s wrong, is all I’m saying.

DP: I see.

MG: And nobody—and I mean nobody—gets between me and my clients. That’s what Loudy taught me. I don’t need to learn it twice.

DP: You’ve lived in the Fallow for going on thirty years now. What do you appreciate most about it?

MG: What’s not to like? The music is great. Oh, and the food? Have you ever tried Thai food?

DP: Yes, it’s one of my favorites.

MG: Me too! I tell you, we didn’t have anything like that back in Cuttywatty. I still miss a good merrybrew, though, especially in the summer.

DP: I’m not familiar with that drink.

MG: It’s kind of traditional around the holidays. Gamaufry’s makes a pretty good brew, but it’s never as good as homemade. The secret’s in the berries. If you like, I can hook you up with a bottle or two. Just say the word.

DP: Thanks. I think I’ll pass.

MG: Your loss. If you ain’t looking for brew, how about a new suit? I know a guy in Saint Matthews—

DP: Maybe next time. Thanks for chatting with me today.

MG: My pleasure, Mr. P. Don’t be a stranger.

You can read Morty’s story in Dead of Night.

The night gets darker on July 1.